Adulting
by TisOnlyaPaperMoon
Summary: Being a kid is easy: there's little to worry about. Even being a teenager is not particularly pressing. But there comes a point when one must put the ways of childhood behind you and become an adult. Whether it's accepting yourself, dealing with new experiences, or just the fact that Summer isn't 104 days long anymore, you can be sure that these guys will be ready for what comes.


Buford ignored the doorbell.

It was easy for him to ignore it. It didn't feel like it was a real doorbell, making real noise. It was distant, like it was on a TV in another room, a sound effect from a soap opera his 'ma was watching. But his 'ma was at work right now, and the doorbell was real, like the texts, the missed calls, the unopened Snapchats, and much like all of them he rolled over and ignored them.

_Why should I hafta' answer them?_ he thought, trying to hide from the world underneath his pillows. T_hey're the ones tryin' to pry into Buford's life. I ain't done nothin' to them. I didn't kick all of this off, did I? Other people did this,_ he reassured himself. Other people had made his day terrible, other people had made sure everyone knew that - it didn't matter.

Didn't it? They were his friends after to all.

They had all decided that instead of doing what friends should do and help him get back at those people, they were hassling him. They ain't got no reason to hassle me but to satisfy their need to gossip, so Buford ain't playing ball. I ain't talking to anyone now, not even if they put a brick through the window.

Fortunately, it didn't come to that, although when Buford heard tapping at the window he did flinch enough for his façade of not caring to slip. Thankfully, no brick came flying. Instead, when Buford looked up, he saw Adyson, hands-on hips. She rapped on the window again. "Buford?" she yelled through the window.

He rolled away from the window. "Not Talkin' to anyone."

"Fuck off Buford, open the window."

"No."

"Open the goddamn the window Buford or I will smash it open with this brick -" she waved the brick around as a show of force -"and come in anyway."

Buford opened the window. Adyson dropped the brick and went to clamber through the window, but Buford blocked her way. "I didn't say anything about comin' inside did I?"

"Fine. At least I actually gotta talk to you." Buford snorted.

"Well then?" He said, lying back on his bed. "Whaddaya want to ask? When did I first know? Why did I hide it?" He continued to avoid looking at Adyson.

"Please Buford, we just wanted to know whether you were ok." Adyson sounded both concerned and irritated in the same tone.

"Why would ya guys came about whether I'm ok. It's not your business, is it?"

"Because we're your friends Buford? It's our job to care how you are?"

"But what about-"

"He's fine, Buford. Well, he's never really fine, but he's about as good as he usually is?"

Buford huffed. "Ya lying, aren't ya."

Adyson rolled her eyes. "Why would I lie to you Buford?"

"Cos I'm a prideful guy! I got pride in myself. You wouldn't want to make me more fucked off than I already am?"

"Jesus Christ, take your head out of your ass Buford." Adyson leaned on the window sill, crossing her arms. Even in the May heat, she wore her bright yellow jacket, and the shoulder pads pinched slightly as she glowered at Buford. "I don't' fuck around with you Buford and you know that. Do you *really* think I'd treat you like a baby?"

"I think that if Phineas or 'bella told you to you'd do it."

"Well," Adyson said with mock ceremony, "if you won't believe me." She suddenly disappeared from view, and from out of sight Buford heard muffled orders then equally muffled, but urgent protestations. Before he could stick he head out of the window and investigate, the thin, slightly stooping shape of Baljeet, in his thick glasses and decidedly out of season sweater vest was unceremoniously shoved in front of Buford's window.

Buford had never wished so much he could be invisible.

"Erm, Hi Buford," Baljeet said, somehow able to look him in the eyes.

Buford didn't say anything.

"Can..can I come in?" he gestured to the window. Buford shrugged. Baljeet looked at him again for confirmation, then pushed the window fully open, and with little difficulty swung his leg into Buford's room - a well-practiced route from years of unofficial tutoring and late-night vents. He dusted himself off slightly. Buford looked at him oddly, his friend now an alien figure, changed somehow.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Buford nodded a reply, and Baljeet sat delicately on the bed. He looked blankly at Buford.

"Well?" Buford said, awkwardly. He couldn't meet Baljeets eyes.

"Well, what?" Baljeet said.

"You musta come here for a reason 'jeet," he said, still not looking at him.

"Not really. Adyson more or less dragged me here."

"So, ya don't want to talk to me?"

"That's not what I said. I do want to talk to you."

"Whaddaya wanna hear?"

Baljeet looked unsure. "I want to know why you did not say anything."

"About what?" Buford said threateningly, but for what reasons he didn't know.

Baljeet paused, trying to pick the most diplomatic way to phrase it.

"You know…" he spread his hands, almost like he was trying to pluck the words out of thin air.

"What, when I realized I was gay? Or when I became comfortable with it?" Buford didn't really have an answer for the second part.

"I mean-"

"I've known for ages 'jeet. I've been aware of it at least. But I didn't wanna make it part of who I am, cos it isn't what I am."

Baljeet went to say something belligerent but decided against it. "Why couldn't it be part of who you are?"

"Cos it ain't! I can't be who I am and 'be' gay. It ain't gonna work."

"Why not?"

"Because-" Buford paused. He didn't really know why. He told himself it was because you couldn't be a 'tough' guy and also be gay. It wasn't compatible. People wouldn't take you seriously when you threatened to beat them to a pulp, right? And if he couldn't do that, he could really be Buford.

The thing is though: Buford wasn't really sure that was what he actually wanted Buford to be.

Buford the Bully was really, to most people, a distant memory. To his friends, it was a silly in-joke. Even the people who had- with reason - been at the end of his wrath didn't know him as a tough guy by reputation.

The Buford Van Storm most people knew at high school was a football player for sure, but he was also a dramatic and an artist, a constant appearance at film club and devourer of French Literature. That was really who Buford wanted to be as a person - the person he wanted people to see him as. So why did he defend the fake Buford? Why did he think that people would think worse of him? He didn't even pretend to bully people anymore. So why did he care?

He sighed. "Because I'm afraid!" He shouted, barely aware that he was. Baljeet flinched at the noise. "I don't wanna look weak, at all - I don't want people to know all my secrets! Especially-" he glanced at Baljeet- "And I think you know why". It took a lot of emotional courage for Buford to actually look his friend in the eyes right now. Baljeet could see that, and looked for something to say but could find nothing. He felt a bit guilty that Buford was putting himself through so much internal tension to talk to him, and Baljeet couldn't find a single thing to say to him.

Well, one thing.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well jeez, Baljeet, I don't know." Buford stared at the wall for a second. "I felt like- like I couldn't trust no one. Not my ma, not the gang, not you. It didn't feel right, ya know? I didn't know how you guys would react?

"It's not like we would have stopped being your friend. We would have been completely supportive."

"I know! That's the problem!" He threw his hands in the air, exasperated. "You guys would want to know everything! 'Bella and the girls would try and set me up with every guy they know, and Phineas and Ferb woulda built some stupid contraption and then-"

"-and then we would all know," Baljeet said quietly. He didn't need to tell Buford what he was talking about.

"Yeah." Buford had stopped looking at Baljeet. He was hanging his head slightly, hiding his blushing, terrified face from his friend. He'd hid that thing for a long time - longer than he'd ever to admit to anyone. Now, despite having buried it at deep as he could, it was back, burning a hole again. He felt scared. And Ashamed. And guilty. And a thousand other things he'd never ever want to admit to anyone in the world, except-

"I knew Buford."

"Wha?"

"I knew you had a crush on me, Buford. I knew already." It was Baljeet's turn not to look his friend in the eyes. "Most of us suspected it, but me and Adyson? We were both the only ones who were pretty certain."

Buford looked shocked - or to be corrected, a weird amalgamation of shock, confusion, horror and relief that left his face contorted slightly, mouth agape.

"What?" Baljeet said to his stunned friend. "It is not like you were being subtle."

"What are you-" Buford back-pedaled -" I was bein' super subtle!"

"Walking me back from school dances to the opposite direction from your own home consistently for four years is not subtle Buford."

"Friends can do that!"

"Friends do not go and see romantic comedies together. They do not spend far too much time making a 'joke' valentines card and -" he sighed, and finally looked straight back at Buford. "They do not disappear from each others' lives for a month and a half because one of them got a girlfriend."

Buford blinked. "I thought you would'n have noticed. You were spendin' so much time with Ginger, I didn' think you wanted to spend time with me. You two were happy - happier than you'd ever seemed to be in a long time. And anyway-" he shifted awkwardly on the bed. "I didn' feel like I could spend any time with ya anyway. Without feelin' crap."

Baljeet was silent for a record. "Was it that bad?"

Buford shrugged. "I was- I was crushin' on you hard 'jeet. It took a while. I'm only human. And when you and Ginger became a thing, well-" he paused, blocking a visible reaction to the emotions that had flooded back. "I had to learn to cope, and I learned to understand. I didn' wanna tell cos I- I thought it'd wreck our friendship. I knew I couldn' get what I really wanted, but to be honest- I thought it didn' really matter. And then it turned out that it did matter- it mattered a lot." he lay down on the bed and looked also wistfully at the ceiling. "That was a bit where I did hat Ginger" - he glanced at Baljeet furtively "emphasis on was, 'jeet."

His friend shrugged. "It is natural. Consciously or not, you blamed her for the fact we were together instead of-" he gestured between the two of them. "-us."

"Are you psychoanalyzing me?" Buford asked.

"No?" Buford gave him a look. "Ok, maybe but I am not wrong, am I?"

Buford sighed. "Nah. Eventually, I told myself to grow up and get over it, and then, I got over you. But this thing with Evan - I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet! Hell, I'm not sure I was actually over you!"

"We all knew anyway, Buford. All of us."

"No ya didn'," he said defensively.

"Jesus Christ Buford, Isabella had a list of guys to set you up with! It's a page long! Some of them even have full profiles and everything!" Baljeet sounded shocked that Buford didn't know.

"Really?"

"Duh!" Baljeet rolled his eyes. "God knows how we kept you in the dark."

"But…but how?"

"You know Ian from drama tech?"

Buford blanked for a second, then mumbled, "Uhuh."

"You know how you've been dating for-" Baljeet counted fingers, more for dramatic effect than anything- "Seven Months?"

Buford went red.

"You know that date you had to go see West Side Story in East Park?"

Buford held his head in his hands.

"Well as we all know, Milly can't keep a secret, so perhaps you should have factored that in before you tried to hush her with free Ice Cream."

"I know that wasn't going to work." Buford ran his hands through his long hair. "So why didn' anyone say anythin' to me?"

"Some people did not know though. Some people did not care enough to say anything. Those of us who did know, and make the rest of the mental leaps just assumed you would tell us when you were ready."

"So what did you do when Evan showed up with his-" Buford balled his fists. "posters."

Baljeet smiled slightly. "We…we told him to fuck off."

"Wha?"

***Earlier that day***

"What the fuck is this?"

Isabella slammed the poster into Evan's chest, possibly bruising him (It had been her intention). It had been deposited into her locker, along with everyone else's locker in Senior year by Evan and few of the more cowardly of his stooges at recess. It was, really, a rather crude piece of 'literature'. A few photos of Buford and Ian together, some with a bit too much PDA for anyone's liking, but nothing exactly scandalous. Unless your name is Evan, and you're a bigoted egotist who's hated Buford since Freshman because (quite frankly) he's a better Football player and also generally more liked. In that case, this was a total takedown of your arch-rival as a total -well let's not use the words that Evan would use. And if you happened to be as much of a complete dick as Evan is, watching everyone wander around the school, talking about Buford in hushed whispers had been a rather triumphant moment. And since the hushed whispers had started, there had been no sight at all of Buford.

Needless to say, there were a lot of very angry friends of Buford standing around Evan at that point, many of whom were already thinking of creative ways to perform reconstructive surgery on Evan's face with their knuckles. The target of this ire, however, seemed not to notice the anger of everyone in front of him. Either that, or he didn't care.

"It's what it says it is," Evan said smugly.

"Which appears to be," Isabella said, peering mockingly at the sheet, "a picture of Buford snogging Ian? Congratulations Evan, you're a pervert. Have a sticker and some minimal social clout with people no one likes anyway."

"But-"

"Listen Evan,-" Phineas said, looking actually quite pissed off, "just because you're a bigoted asshole doesn't mean that the rest of us actually give a flying fuck about who he's snogging."

"But he's- he's a f-" Evan doubled over as Isabella kicked him in the balls- not an unsurprising move, unless one was the sort of misogynist who believes that women can't fight for themselves.

Which is interestingly the kind of person Evan Young was.

"If I were you I'd start taking those posters down or you'll be in a world of hurt far worse than that, " Isabella said.

"Could we just bundle him in a locker? I've always wanted to try that?"

"Ferb!" Baljeet said.

"What?" he said, shrugging. "Haven't you?"

"I mean having been bundled into lockers- no?"

Ferb rolled his eyes."Fine.."

"Don't you care though?" Evan said to Baljeet, between wincing. "He had the hots for you- isn't that a bit creepy? Does it mess with you that your best friend wanted to suck your-"

It was at this point exactly that Baljeet punched Evan in the face.

***Back to the present***

"- and then we bundled him into that locker."

"But 'jeet, you'd get in trouble for that, I wouldn' want you to do that for me!"

Baljeet shrugged. "I do not mind. Anyway, He has been suspended since then, so it wouldn't be more than a warning."

"Hmm." Buford mulled everything over. He did, admittedly, feel a lot better now he'd talked it all through. "Do you want to talk about"- he gestured between the two of them.

"What is there to say? I know, you know I know, and you are over it."

Buford glanced at him for a second.

"You are not 100% sure you are over me are you."

"No." he said, as definite as he could be.

"Well," Baljeet said, standing up. "Do you want to be my friend? Still?"

Buford sat up, looking at him. "Yeah. If you want to be mine."

"Of course I do Buford!" he turned and looked at him. "Buford I trust you. A lot. I rely on you- you're as much a rock in my life as Ginger is- but if this is going to be difficult, I don't"

"It'll be fine. I promise." Buford stood up and faced Baljeet. He put his hands on his friend's shoulders. "It's a different kind of - feelin'. It's more like a sibling. I care for you -I care a lot - but I don' think I could, ya know, be with you. It'd be very weird now. We've had too many conversations that belong to friends, not to be…that."

He sighed. "You're a great friend Baljeet. Once, I might've wanted more, but I don't think I could ask more of you than what I've got already. There are plenty of people who would've been completely weirded out by knowing that- plenty who would wanna never be able to look me in the face again. But you're stickin' around. Even if it gets a little…"

"Awkward?"

"Yeah, but ya know what?"

"What?"

"Awkward never got in the way of our friendship before."

"You can say that again." Baljeet smiled, then hugged Buford tightly. Buford blinked for a second, then tentatively hugged him back, patting him lightly on the back. He felt better now. This conversation - parts of it at least - had been a long time coming. He knew he'd ducked it out of fear, and now it had happened, it felt like he was whole for the first time in years.

"Thanks for comin' to talk 'jeet."

Baljeet shrugged."There is nothing to thank me for." He smiled warmly. "It is not like we do not talk about these things, or that I cannot handle them. Once you get over the nerves, it is always easier to talk. It usually saves a lot of energy."

"Yeah," Buford said, rubbing the back of his neck, accepting that that last bit had been a bit of a jibe.

"Now cheer up and come with me," Baljeet said, motioning towards the door.

"What are you doin'?" Buford said, confused.

"Well you do not expect me to go out through the window as well, do you?"

"No, I mean where are we goin'?"

"Did you not see the texts?"

"Baljeet, I wasn't answerin' my phone."

"Ah. Well, Isabella invited everyone over to her house to hang out and stuff. She said there would be Ice Cream…"

"Ice Cream."

Baljeet rolled his eyes. "Ferb said he would bring some Beer."

"That's the spirit 'Jeet." Buford clapped him on the back, and they began to walk out the house together, Buford dropping a note for his mother as they passed through the hall. "I think it's time we got a bit drunk and complained about our partners."

"That sounds both concerning yet somewhat enjoyable."

"Can we put a little emphasis on the 'enjoyable' there 'jeet?"

Baljeet smiled wryly. "If you insist."

**Hope you all enjoyed that one! Just a few notes from me:**

**On the series itself: I think there's an interesting set of stories to be told about these characters - who are representations of the wonders and freedom of childhood - making the transition into Adulthood, with the burdens, trials and also it's new freedoms, whether they are physical, social or emotional. Some of the stories might be quite lighthearted- some not. I hope you like the concept, and if you guys have any suggestions, do drop me a line!**

**On this story, Pride:**

**The Bujeet shipping one is a fairly popular one- probably more popular before AYA but nonetheless, one that is leaned on heavily in the show (Looking at you Bully Bromance Breakup) but I personally find it a bit odd that people can't imagine two guys having close relationships like that without it being romantic. So I don't really like running with it in my headcanons. But that doesn't mean there isn't a story to be explored there, and I thought that it'd be an interesting way to A) explore that pairing in a slightly new way and b) open up this series with a pairing that is both popular and not a Phinabella / Ferbnessa one (Don't worry, I'll get to them eventually). **

**Hope you guys enjoyed it - there'll be more coming through the pipeline in the future!**


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